OMG Attack!
by Hollis V. Saxon
Summary: OMG horde attacks a real world town! Various groups combat army


Disclaimer- Only Mikaru is owned by me

* * *

"Who are we going to defeat?" boomed a voice.

"Gaia!" cheered the crowd.

"Why wage this war?" the voice boomed.

"To survive and strive!" shouted the crowd.

"Are we ready?"

"Yeah!"

Suddenly a loud click and slam of the van echoed, signaling the presence of the UPS driver approaching. "Quiet!" shouted a member of the crowd, and within an instant a hush fell over the crowd. As planned, the crowd rushed around, climbing over one another. Soon, everyone was in rows, in such a way that looked if the crates broke open. Click! The van door slid up and the tired man peered inside, filling the small van with a cold wind. Looking at us without seeing us, the deliveryman sluggishly scanned his trunk. However, not finding his target, he closed the door. Another click sounded, followed again by a slam. Ten tedious minutes later, the crowd reanimated. "Faulty human! All puffed up with out any intellect!" "No, they're just jet puffed and taught to be stupid!" "Yeah!"

"Lets save our energy and prepare for the battle, instead of wasting our spare time criticizing this race. As these humans say, good night."

Back on the road, the deliveryman drove in a déjà vu haze on the old Kansas trail. UPS First-class deliveryman Paul Stevens, the truck-driving license said in big brown letters. Age? 34. Family? None. Home? Texas. Friends? The rusted tin can called a van that he drove. Pet? None. Paycheck? Next month, if ever. Interests? Debating facts. Hobbies? Traveling. Favorite food? Road kill. Yuck.

Last night had been like every other night, noise like some vagabonds discussing possible raids, them breaking the 'expertly made' crates and scattering the contents, occasionally stealing a pack or two. The original estimated drive time between pick up and drop off was eight days, but now with these problems it is now almost two weeks with today as the seventh. Talk about shitty.

At least they closed the door this time. The other night he went to check on his shipment and the door was wide open. Well, the noise must be from the broken radio, which had been in a van scheduled for repair for a couple months now, but the stolen goods? Who would want hats? Well, teenagers would want these, but who would know which van to pounce on? These, what did Tim say they were? 'Guy a in line's oh image hats'? Yeah, that was a mystery. They look like mini monsters, more ragged the bigger they got. Hell, they're so strange the prairie heat makes it seem like they move.

_Pling! Pling!_ He looked at the fuel tank meter. "Damn it," Paul swore under his breath. Like a coincidence, a billboard passed, informing him of a gas station about three miles further…

"…And a bizarre report of UPS delivery trucks suddenly crashing in city buildings, occasionally bringing the building down. In one case, senior truck driver Paul Stevens crashed head on into a Kansas gas station, instantly engulfing the gas station in a blast that could be seen from the nearby Pryor City. Another in northeastern Washington where Mr. Tim Barker almost crashed into a wireless communications building, which had only recently been made. Both men were supposedly carrying several hundred OMG hats and plush dolls, ordered by the online site know as Gaia Online. The current motive I still unknown…" the reporter blathered on.

The punkish guy's hair colored seemed to twitch from blue to red. I saw it in the corner of my eye, and instinctively looked, but it switched back before I knew it. "Hmm?" asked his girl. The guy looked about 17 and his girl 15. He had gravity-defying luminous blue hair and eyes that seemed to look like crystal. He wore glasses so I guess he was blind, and he must be a Japanese freak since he carried a samurai sword. The girl… was as normal as they come by. Long black hair and near flawless skin, no make up, she has to be his servant or mistress.

"You know, all but one escaped the first incident but thankfully more than half died in the second incident," he reported.

"All what?" I asked.

"The monsters we're hiring help to defeat," answered the girl.

"How'd ya know?"

The punk stood, dug in his pocket and brought out his phone. He walked over to me and shoved it in my face, saying "this." Near seconds later, it rang. _News Flash! News Flash!_ Walking out the door without apologizing, I noticed he was wearing a blindfold.

"Sorry about his behavior. He's used to acting alone to deal with this situation, with enemies that have actual fighting… capabilities," his girl said apologetically.

"No, you don't apologize for him. He does it himself, not his mistress," I told her.

"Huh," she muttered.

"By the way, I'm Harvey Phillips. Who are you guys?"

"I'm Melissa Matthymn and he's Mikaru Keiko. And I am not his mistress."

"And the relationship status is?"

"None, he just drags me around."

"What's the deal with the blindfold?"

"He can see someone's soul through it, though physically it's just a blob through just the blindfold, so he used the glasses to get the actual image," she explained. She doesn't seem any different than the rest of the girls in this world.

"Out of all the girls in the world, why you?"

She smirked and looked at the floor. "It's because he created my body, but Ethan, one of his enemies, now in hiding, gave me life. Using the hatred and sadness and what else he considered trash by combining all of it and burned it to the core. Thus creating a scapegoat, which out of the false hatred, spite, and pain which to essentially to create a servant that attacked and nearly killed Keiko. Premature bitch was what Ethan called me."

"Now, Mikaru created the body?"

"Yes."

"And Ethan gave life to you, right?"

"Yes. Twenty."

"So they're your fathers, right?"

"Yes, nineteen."

"Any women involved?"

"Kinda. Eighteen."

"How old is Mikaru?"

"19 total. Siebzehn."

"Siebzehn?"

"Seventeen. Sixteen.

"How old are you?"

"Not saying. Fifteen."

"Were you given birth or did some scientific go right for once?"

"Lets go with the latter. Fourteen."

"Hmm. Where are you-" the door opened. Mikaru walked in grabbed his sword and turned toward me. "Question total exceed twenty. System will close now," he said, hitting the power switch on the T.V. Mel, stood, equipping her… doll. It was a doll on the end of a dagger. "What the?"

"Move it," Mel whispered. Well, if they've got swords, I'll get my gun. Guns are much more effective than swords. But as I picked up my S&W Sigma, she told me that guns only work against humans and small animals. So I grabbed a dagger and a one-handed sword. "Hurry up!" Mel called. I managed to grab my wallet before leaving the house.

* * *

"They're made of polyester and silk! How can't you burn them?" the police chief yelled at a subornment. He wasn't angry that some creatures couldn't burn but they can terrorize. No, he was Pissed, furious that some creature that he couldn't even tell which were dead or even alive can terrorize his lesser with natural defenses and not put much effort in doing so. "Did someone call the punk with the Japanese name that joined a few months ago?"

"If you're talking about Mikaru, he's on his way. Otherwise, he's doesn't care. Those were his exact words," the chairman said.

"Not acceptable! He's coming here whether it kills him or not!" the police chief shouted. "He's just a teenager like the rest of them!"

"At sixteen, he joined us incredibly weak. A month in this system he disappeared without a trace. And a month later, he-."

"It doesn't take a month to get here! It's the nation's capital for Christ's sake!"

"It does if you're stopped and arrested for suspicious behavior. Look, there he is now, surveying," the chairman said pointing to someone sitting on the edge of a building nearly four stories high.

"Is that him?" the chief asked, seeing the person. "Someone, get me binoculars!"

"Here come the militias. Incredibly impressed by the situation. They've even brought weapons."

"You're full of it today, aren't you? Maybe I'd ought to send you out too."

"Here's the binoculars," a soldier said as he handed the binoculars over to the chief. The chief grunted thanks and peered through them. "That's not Mika…"

* * *

"Where the hell do these things come from?" Brett called over to Chels.

_Shhlck. _The blood of these creatures is heavy with muck that would drown an Olympic swimmer instantly. It caused Chels' blade to become an axe-sword had she let it dry. "Try finding the WTFs! They're the leaders!" that will thin them out quicker.

"Thanks Chels." Brett scanned the crowd. There were a bundle of WTFs in a huddle, almost touching each other. Sensing a quick victory, or a faster one, Brett pulled out a Molotov cocktail and lit it, quickly tossing the explosive.

* * *

"More and more come each moment! Do you think we can win?" Omgyd asked.

"Yep. The petite humans will win, but not by themselves," I told my hat.

"Petite humans? But sir! Aren't you a human? Oh! That's right. You're undead. Sorry! Well anyway…" Omgyd blathered on. Suddenly, its arm shot straight toward the battle, saying, "look! Look!" I saw it. Molotov cocktail. I readied my Explosive Amplifier V2, calculating the course and my shot. "Suckers!" Omgyd said as I released the eav2. The shot hit the cocktail as usual. "Perfect again! Maybe you should wear a blindfold!"

"Nah, I've got to work on my backwards shooting."

"Mincemeat." I jumped at Sulfur's sudden appearance, almost off the edge.

"Hey Sulfur!" Omgyd happily cheered.

"We had a deal," Sulfur said apathetically.

"So punish me already," I said. So he removed Omgyd from my head and pushed me off the side of the building. I rolled to avoid fall damage, but as I was coming up Sulfur kicked me in the face onto my back. "That's all you got?" I said, spitting blood, smiling, and then stood. "Come on, Phosphate. You've gotten soft."

"Hardly. I've still got bones of yours to use. Heal up, then come to the usual place," He said, walking off. Omgyd walked up me and sat on my head.

"Did he get you bad?" it asked.

"No. Not as bad ass are you now, Sulfur?" I asked him silently. "Lets go, Omgyd."

"Hey, a new group arrived!"

* * *

"Weaklings, huh? Where'd your leaders go?" I asked, disappointed at the lack of greater OMGs.

"Guess we're late, right Harvey?" Mel asked him.

"Sorry guys" he apologized.

"Well, quit screwing off. There's plenty of ways you can make up for it now. Mel, help him." I surveyed for any commanders, and found only a handful.

"Yes, Mikaru," Harvey said, rushing into the thinning cloud of OMG grunts.

"Yep," Mel agreed.

"Keep him alive safely," I asked her. Watching them disappear into the haze, the grunts saw me and started to close in. smiling, I pulled my katana and laughed. "Welcome to the world. How may I be of assistance?"

* * *

**Omgyd stands for Omg you're dumb. The 'd' could also be used for 'dead".**


End file.
